ADHD Stories
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
- Category: ADHD Stories
Alex McCarthyWay back in the year 2000, I had just started the first of my ADHD support groups—there were rapidly more than one.
Towards the end of that year, we were invited to attend a long-standing ADHD support group based in Simonstown, South Africa, for their next meeting, as they had invited a medical doctor to speak.
The doctor, short, rotund and owlish, strode confidently to the front of the stage and began her speech by saying, “ADHD is a curse!”
There was a short silence, then most of my group, led by Desmond, erupted in denial, some even got to their feet and pointed fingers at the hapless doctor, who staggered back to the rear of the stage.
I got to my feet and managed to restore some order. I asked the doctor to explain her words. What happened then was ADHD at its best.
For every negative statement by the doctor, one of my group got up and either provided a positive statement to counter her negative, or just a positive point that was unrelated to her negative words.
After a short while, I stood up and asked my group members to let the doctor speak without interruption. I told them that we should not ignore the negatives by focusing only on the positives.
At the end of the evening, the doctor got a good round of applause, so all was not hostile. When the host and I saw her out to her car, she asked me to make an appointment to see her at her rooms as she wanted to explore what I was doing in my support group.
I made the appointment and went to see her, but alas, it was a waste of time as all she wanted to do was prove me wrong and herself right.
At the end of the day, ADHD has benefits, and significant benefits for all mankind. Nearly every single inventor in history had ADHD! That’s just for starters.
Just because we are difficult to get on with, and are different to the non-ADHD majority, does not mean that we are defective or lesser human beings.
We are different.
Banana Stock
Just like Asian people are significantly different-looking from Western people, of course, African people are different too.
And just as people with ADHD are different to one another, Japanese people are different to Chinese and Koreans, even though their main features are similar.
This absolute nonsense that we are lesser beings, and some of us have to attend special-needs schools, is simply an easy way out of not having to work at integrating us into their lives.
Those of us that have the condition have to try and adapt to a world dominated by logic, where creativity is not considered “real work,” we are the ones who have to adjust to this rigid world where everyone is considered the same, where we have to sit in rows and columns at school, and every learning period is the same length of time, and all employment is mostly operated according the same hierarchical structure.
The solution lies within the family, and that is difficult as 4 out of 5 children have at least one parent who has ADHD, and a distracted parent needs guidance and checklists at the very least.
Unquestionably, the world needs people who have ADHD. Our planet would be a much poorer place without us.
Top Photo: Alex McCarthy Bottom Photo: Banana Stock
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
- Category: ADHD Stories
Photo: Maxim TolchinskiyChristmas is usually a time of great tension and drama for people who have ADHD. There, I have said it out loud.
The reasons for this are varied and complex.
The first reason is that it is the holiday season, when most families are together. For the rest of the year, ADDers can avoid family get-togethers.
There are probably still resentments hanging over from last Christmas. These were likely to have been minor at the time, but they have had a whole 12 months of vivid brooding
There will be expectations that are not going to be met - on all sides. I remember in my tween and early teen years being "hurt" by the fact that the only gift my parents and extended family thought I needed was socks!
Financial issues are also culprits. There are expectations from spouses about how and where to spend the vacation, and considerations about which gifts are to be delivered by the rotund fella dressed in red; this is usually a recipe for disaster.
Despite all the gloom and doom above, this can be a glorious time of love and happiness. Next Christmas actually starts when this one ends.
You have 11 months to listen for gift ideas; you can even ask around what gifts might be acceptable to family and friends. A great way to choose gifts is to buy or create yourself, those presents that will be treasured! Float different destinations by creating information packs of brochures, or even videos showing what can be enjoyed.
Photo: Getty Images on Free Images
Ask each family member to do a presentation on where they would like to go and why. If you pay attention, you will be able to create a very accurate list of suitable gifts.
You can even plan for a mega holiday every 2 or 3 years, taking cheaper holidays in between - even staying home for one year.
But at the end of the day, the destination is not actually the most important criterion. It's what you do while on vacation! Some of the best holidays I have had in my life are when we stayed at home, but we had fantastic times, full of joy and laughter.
At the end of the day, vacations are what YOU make them, how you plan, how you act, and how you react!
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
- Category: ADHD Stories
In the 25-odd years I have been involved in ADHD, the question of excessive diagnoses has been raised periodically.
Trophim Laptev/UnsplashThis is, of course, a good thing; making sure that people who do not qualify to wear the badge aren´t draining away valuable resources and skewing the numbers.
In September of this year (2025), an international conference on preventing overdiagnosis was held at Oxford University. The conference looked at overdiagnosing, especially ‟its harms and impact on individuals’ health, on health care and the practice of medicine, and on society.” From Oxford University
I am inspired to write this article by a piece I found on Substack titled Sensible Medicine. Please read through the whole piece as I simplify the complex medical terminology at the end.
I have written a few times before on this topic because some people complained about the large increases in diagnoses of ADHD and autism. My point was then–and remains–that in the northern hemisphere countries, which are leaders in medical care, being concerned about overdiagnosing was pertinent. However, in countries that are still developing their medical care facilities, this is a fallacy. South Africa falls into this category.
When it comes to ADHD and autism, Sweden has the most comprehensive and accurate statistics. The information on which this article is based comes from large twin studies–one each for children and adults–looking to determine whether variable autistic-like-traits were a risk factor for ADHD and other mental conditions.
The results were conclusive. Even the lowest level of autistic-like-traits increased the risk for all other types of mental conditions.
What this means is that every child and adult who has autistic-like-traits, no matter how mild or insignificant, runs the risk of developing other mental conditions.
This is information that must be taken note of and acted upon.
Any mental health condition is serious enough, but this study adds another whole dimension to those of us who have them.
For those who want to read the Sensible Medicine article, it has a lot more detail not relevant to this article.
In the future, I will write more articles based on the many interesting points raised in this article.
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
- Category: ADHD Stories
Photo by Ashkan ForouzaniThe tall doctor strode into the consulting room wearing a surgical mask. Glancing at the junior doctor to his right, he perched on a credenza, and mumbled a question in my direction
‟Sorry doctor, I couldn´t hear what you said,” I said, inexplicably nervous
‟I can do the scope, it´s quick,” he said. ‟What if I find cancer, at your age, what are going to do?”
I stared at his eyes above the mask, for once in my life lost for words - I was stupefied, and horrified
I looked at my wife to my left, then back at the doctor, and stared for a few long seconds. I tried to process the three parts of his question quickly before I responded, but this question couldn´t - and shouldn´t be answered in a hurry
‟What if I find cancer,” there it was, the big C word. I don´t know if there is anything more frightening a doctor can say. There probably is, but for me it is right up there
‟At my age…” I am just past my 3-score-and-ten in years. In today´s world I am still relatively young. But age is relative, I have lived a rich and full life - many people close to me would call it punishing. Four hours sleep a night was par for the course, many years of stressful and often dangerous hard-news journalism in Southern Africa as it transitioned into democracy which was not always peaceful
Alcohol was a raucous refuge with other hacks, PTSD experiences occurred with monotonous regularity, that they happened consistently was the only thing monotonous about them
My 71 years are probably worth more than many others of 90 and older. From being the only English-speaking kid in a rural village primary school where a school outing was a trip to the abattoir, to my parachute not opening on my first sky dive, to having a rifle barrel shoved up my nose when covering a farm murder, to having my skull cracked by a brick hurled at me when covering the 1976 riots, to being arrested in Gaborone when we were not supposed to be in Botswana, and so on
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
- Category: ADHD Stories
I went into a MRI similar to this with a mask tighter than in this picture. ©Salisbury Healthcare HistoryOn Monday 11th August I had an experience that is a nightmare for anybody with ADHD - despite the title of this article.
As part of my recovery I had to have an MRI scan. MRI stands for ‟Magnetic Resonance Imaging.” The machine is a beast to put it mildly.
It doesn´t hurt you, it performs no invasive actions on your body, but it creates pictures of whichever part of your anatomy the doctors want to study. I have attached a picture so you can visualise how confined you are.
What it does do however, is roar - it has a repertoire of strange electronic ‟outer space” sounds that blast loudly through the cotton wool stuffed in your ears and the noise cancelling pads over your ears. The noise levels can reach 120db - which is like standing next to a jet plan taking off.
This is just 2 minutes of the MRI sounds sourced from Pixabay Freesound Community
- Details
- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
- Category: ADHD Stories
Dave Pughe-Parry
This information applies to our sister site Living ADDventure Training
He was diagnosed with ADHD in his mid forties after a working life of spectacular successes and devastating failures. The ultimate ADHD rebel child who attended 15 schools found much needed structure in the army where he qualified as an officer.
His background as a professional news photographer, a pioneer of industrial theatre, multi-media large scale productions, and corporate training were unwittingly ideal career choices for an ADDer who is highly imaginative and creative and thrives on constant change and challenges.
With his customary passion, once he was diagnosed with ADHD, he set about finding out how to manage this complex condition. He set up weekly Support groups and quickly realised that ADHD Coaching – new at the time - offered excellent results. He formed Living ADDventure™ offering coaching services to adults with the condition.
Our 60's style weddingIn 2007 after his marriage to Pat who was also diagnosed late in life with ADHD they focused their passion on the education and training of parents, educators and medical professionals about ADHD by running talks, workshops and courses throughout South Africa using schools as venues. Dave has been a guest on radio talk shows and a speaker at ADHASA conferences.
Their first book which they wrote, edited and self published, "I'm Audacious, Original and Innovative .... I Have ADHD" is sold as a package with the book recorded on 2 audio cds for those who don't like or can't read. It sold out within the first year of publication
Dave Is busy with a multimedia book covering his ADHD lifes-work, which includes is uniques Impairments Assessment, all of the approxiamtely 40 coaching modules he has created, all the writing and illustrations,, plus all of his public presentations, a large body of work.
Living ADDventure is registered as a supplier of services to PANDA (the Paediatric and Neurological Development Association of South Africa).
Dave was diagnosed with ADHD at age of 45, and since then has committed his life to researching the condition in all its complexities.Through his research he discovered why his enormous successes were sometimes matched by spectacular failures and how they impacted on his family and other relationships.
Dedicated to helping others living with - or along side ADHD, Dave created a successful ADHD Coaching Programme and training courses for Educators and Parents. He raises awareness about ADHD through radio interviews and informational talks at schools and other public events.
About Pat Pughe-Parry
One of the greatest benefits of having ADHD is our curiosity and our willingness to try new careers and explore new places. I love meeting new people - everyone has a story to tell.
No-one gets to 70 without making loads of mistakes, a fair share of successes and endured the loss of loved ones or battled long term illness and other trauma.
I try not to judge and I do my best to listen. Their stories inspire me to weave the different stories together and I have several novels in various stages of construction. Keeping focus is hard as my brain churns with many new ideas at 3am in the morning.
I have been writing for more than 40 years - marketing material for companies I have worked for, blogs on many different topics, social media content and email newsletters.
Dave creates ADHD courses and coaching content and I am tasked with getting his hard work out there and bringing in clients.
Together we have run numerous ADHD Talks, Workshops and Conferences for parents, educators, teens and medical professionals around South Africa.
My Writing Portfolio is on my website.
Print Edition is long since sold out, the revised pdf version is available now at only R75