"My life is one long obstacle course with me as the chief obstacle." — Jack Parr
Image by hamperium from PixabayThis sums up my negative mind speak which has been dominating my life recently.
When I am feeling down I dwell on my personal obstacle course.
How I keep failing, saying and doing the wrong thing, being destructive instead of constructive, sabotaging relationships, eating badly, blah, blah, blah.
It brings to mind this this silly song we used to sing as children. Perhaps you remember it?
“Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll go and eat some worms. Big fat juicy ones, tiny little skinny ones, see how they wriggle and squirm”.
OK I can’t remember the rest but just thinking about it makes me smile and gets me out of my misery funk. (When Dave and I used to travel South Africa, doing our courses and workshops, to pass the time I used to sing nursery rhymes to him as he insists he never learned them as a child.)
I have to remind myself that in between the bad choices in my convoluted obstacle course, I have come a long way.
The ADHD overactive mind is a wonderful and dreadful place in equal measure.
When I was at the lowest point in my life 20 years ago, I made a life changing decision to do Dave’s ADHD Coaching Course. Due to my undiagnosed ADHD, and a traumatic childhood, I had lived a life of fear and self loathing. I did not believe I was lovable and felt like a fraud despite moderate career successes. I have two wonderful sons but I felt I had let them down and failed as a mother.
ADHD Coaching, like any other form of Coaching is not a quick fix. It is a journey for the rest of your life. It is a choice only you can make.
Addicts who are unwillingly forced to go to rehab by parents seldom remain clean.
Overweight people will not permanently lose weight unless they have a deep commitment to the process. (It is another journey I am currently on and it is the first time in my life, I have stuck to a diet - I don’t want to become diabetic!)
Embarking on any journey of change is hard and one of the hardest aspects is that you will be judged by your nearest and dearest. When you change, those close to you become confused and struggle to understand the “new you”.
You don’t only disrupt your life but the new paths you choose will quite possibly be polar opposite to their belief systems.
When you try something new as part of your journey, you will probably fail a few times as you forge a new path.
Well meaning family and friends will be quick to tell you that you failed and you should have stuck to the status quo.
“Grow up and get a proper job, Pat” was one of the most frequent comments I received from exasperated family. I no longer knew “what proper job” I should be doing. I have qualifications in several fields and enjoyed many careers which I had drifted into by accident. I was burnt out and broken.
I am sharing this with you because, if you decide to embark on a journey to change your life, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. But the long term rewards are priceless.
Stand firm, you know yourself better than anyone else knows you. Accept that they are projecting their belief systems onto you.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
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