Coaching Secrets
South African schools close in the next couple of weeks.
In 22 days time Santa Claus, or Father Christmas, or whatever name you assign him in your house, will be sliding down chimneys, or coming through an open window, carefully placing the presents under the twinkling Christmas Tree which is all dressed up to please every toddlers eye, then he gratefully eats the sweets or chocolates that your excited children had set out for the rotund ‟sack man.”
That´s the way it should be.
But, in so many families where there is ADHD, this is a time of dread, as the questions about what should be done, but probably won´t be done, what presents should be bought, but due to not knowing how much we money we have (I don´t do budgets, it takes too much time you know), we spend rashly on the most important people first and when the first card is declined, the presents decline steeply in price.
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
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- Written by: Pat Pughe-Parry
What do you do if you have your heart set on your teen going to university when they finish matric, but she/he does not have good enough grades, or does not want to go to university?
I saw this anonymous post on Facebook recently and was impressed by all the thoughtful suggestions.
"My son is not doing well enough to be accepted into university. Not due to intelligence but due to laziness. (It’s not for lack of trying and parenting before anyone gets on that bandwagon!)
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- Written by: Pat Pughe-Parry
"My life is one long obstacle course with me as the chief obstacle." — Jack Parr
Image by hamperium from PixabayThis sums up my negative mind speak which has been dominating my life recently.
When I am feeling down I dwell on my personal obstacle course.
How I keep failing, saying and doing the wrong thing, being destructive instead of constructive, sabotaging relationships, eating badly, blah, blah, blah.
It brings to mind this this silly song we used to sing as children. Perhaps you remember it?
“Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll go and eat some worms. Big fat juicy ones, tiny little skinny ones, see how they wriggle and squirm”.
OK I can’t remember the rest but just thinking about it makes me smile and gets me out of my misery funk. (When Dave and I used to travel South Africa, doing our courses and workshops, to pass the time I used to sing nursery rhymes to him as he insists he never learned them as a child.)
I have to remind myself that in between the bad choices in my convoluted obstacle course, I have come a long way.
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- Written by: Pat Pughe-Parry
In the good or bad, depending on your perspective, old days, ADHD children who disrupted the class, ran amok, couldn't sit still and didn't listen were beaten to teach them to conform and behave. Those for whom beating did not have the desired effect ended up in reform schools and frequently became drop outs, addicts and/or jail bait.
While the quiet day dreamers completely slipped through the cracks. They happily lived with their thoughts and pretended school didn't exist.
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
For the past 5 years Dave and I have lived in a Senior Citizens Home which I mischievously nicknamed The Home for the Bewildered. Our residents are aged between 50 and 93 and are at different stages in their ageing journeys.
Having ADHD and having worked with ADHD families and individuals for years, we understand and recognise the parallels in the bewilderment and other ADHD traits that the Elderly exhibit.
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- Written by: Pat Pughe-Parry
Here are a few tips from Dave Pughe-Parry to help you get focused and improve your study habits.
- Place your desk against a blank wall with no posters
- One subject at a time – only have the books you need on your desk while studying a particular topic.
- Work to your attention span for each subject. Might be only 5 - 10 minutes. Take a short break and do a chore or have a quick swim, run etc to refresh your brain.
- Cover your bookcases so that you don’t get distracted by other outstanding work.
- Turn headings into questions. eg. What makes the West Coast so good for fishing? Instead of trying to learn the names of all the fish off by heart.
- Use non-vocal music and white noise such as fish tanks and fans to damp down distractions.
- Tap into your visual brain. Create visual contexts to help you grasp concepts.
- Use Google Calendars and reminders to help plan for your exams.
- Ask your teachers to give you your homework at the start of the lesson so you have time to write it down
- Have study parties with your mates. Create your own Trivial Pursuits for different subjects.
These suggestions are just a tiny sample of what you will learn if you sign up for our ADHD Study Skills Coaching Course. This is a one-2-one coaching course.
If you have any tips that will be useful to our readers, please share them in the comments.
I love this quote:
“A year from now, you will wish you had started today.” — Karen Lamb
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- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry