We Are Not Lesser Beings

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Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry

Published: 03 December 2025

Alex McCarthyWay back in the year 2000, I had just started the first of my ADHD support groups—there were rapidly more than one.

Towards the end of that year, we were invited to attend a long-standing ADHD support group based in Simonstown, South Africa, for their next meeting, as they had invited a medical doctor to speak.

The doctor, short, rotund and owlish, strode confidently to the front of the stage and began her speech by saying, “ADHD is a curse!”

There was a short silence, then most of my group, led by Desmond, erupted in denial, some even got to their feet and pointed fingers at the hapless doctor, who staggered back to the rear of the stage.

I got to my feet and managed to restore some order. I asked the doctor to explain her words. What happened then was ADHD at its best.

For every negative statement by the doctor, one of my group got up and either provided a positive statement to counter her negative, or just a positive point that was unrelated to her negative words.

After a short while, I stood up and asked my group members to let the doctor speak without interruption. I told them that we should not ignore the negatives by focusing only on the positives.

At the end of the evening, the doctor got a good round of applause, so all was not hostile. When the host and I saw her out to her car, she asked me to make an appointment to see her at her rooms as she wanted to explore what I was doing in my support group.

I made the appointment and went to see her, but alas, it was a waste of time as all she wanted to do was prove me wrong and herself right.

At the end of the day, ADHD has benefits, and significant benefits for all mankind. Nearly every single inventor in history had ADHD! That’s just for starters.

Just because we are difficult to get on with, and are different to the non-ADHD majority, does not mean that we are defective or lesser human beings.

We are different.Banana Stock

Just like Asian people are significantly different-looking from Western people, of course, African people are different too.

And just as people with ADHD are different to one another, Japanese people are different to Chinese and Koreans, even though their main features are similar.

This absolute nonsense that we are lesser beings, and some of us have to attend special-needs schools, is simply an easy way out of not having to work at integrating us into their lives.

Those of us that have the condition have to try and adapt to a world dominated by logic, where creativity is not considered “real work,” we are the ones who have to adjust to this rigid world where everyone is considered the same, where we have to sit in rows and columns at school, and every learning period is the same length of time, and all employment is mostly operated according the same hierarchical structure.

The solution lies within the family, and that is difficult as 4 out of 5 children have at least one parent who has ADHD, and a distracted parent needs guidance and checklists at the very least.

Unquestionably, the world needs people who have ADHD. Our planet would be a much poorer place without us.

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 Top Photo: Alex McCarthy  Bottom Photo: Banana  Stock

A New Coach Adds More Skills for Our Clients

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Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry

Published: 09 November 2025

I am immensely proud to announce that Pat, my wife and partner, will be launching her own coaching program. Everyone who knows her has experienced her exceptional care and insight —the perfect characteristics required to be a magical coach.

Pat will focus on women who need her unique coaching care. I will continue to provide coaching to everyone who lives with and alongside ADHD. I will also do ADHD Impairments Assessments for any clients who would like one. Should the client opt for the coaching programme, the fee will be deducted from the coaching total price.

Pat has divided her coaching into four areas of focus, or themes. This quartet of broad topics is where Pat has significant expertise and knowledge, and of course, where her primary interest lies.

• The woman you want to be. This is a theme of imagination and goals, some of which may not yet be developed or even established.
• Women who are neurodivergent. These are women who think differently from others and frequently feel that they do not fit in.
• Many women have suffered childhood trauma. Every trauma experienced in childhood is serious; there is no way to compare, nor should there be.
• The fourth focus area is the least well-known of the foursome; it´s known as co-dependency. This is where - usually a woman - becomes addicted to someone else's addiction or trauma. Co-dependency is equally as destructive as the other three.

 If you are a woman trying to find out what value you bring to life, if you never feel good enough, or if you find it easier to deal with other people´s lives rather than own, or you take risks, or you take up causes to some degree of activism, or if you are carrying some childhood trauma, then Pat can help you deal with those issues.

ADHD And Sleep Problems Part One

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Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry

Published: 23 February 2025

The dream was vivid, bright high-resolution visuals and realistic surround sound. A roaring beast was chasing me on a mountain top and suddenly I came to a cliff edge - off to the left I desperately saw a flimsy rope bridge. I narrowly evaded a brutal toe as the beast tried sweep me up into his mouth. I ran onto the rope bridge - when I got to the middle the bridge started to sway violently - then a bolt of lightening struck the rope just in front of me and I fell into the abyss…

I woke up on my knees next to my bed, clutching the sheet, with my poor wife staring at me in horror. I dream every night, and most nights I thrash around - never waking up in the same place where I went to sleep.

The last few years have not had as many terrors as the one described above, but it is like I live in many different worlds when my eyes shut out the conscious world.

Around about the time I turned one, my mother noticed that I was scratching my pillow to keep myself awake. Seventy years on and I have simply found other techniques to avoid sleeping.

Most of my working life I thrived on around 4 hours sleep a night. Being a news photographer during a turbulent time in Southern Africa almost demanded that one be able to function on minimal sleep.

Read more: ADHD And Sleep Problems Part One

ADHD And Sleep Problems Part Two

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Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry

Published: 23 February 2025

SLEEP DISORDER TYPE	RATIO
Narcolepsy - daytime sleepiness	70 Times
Cataplexy - sudden loss of muscle tone leading to collapse	70 Times
Hypersomnia - excessive sleeping	20 Times
Sleep/wake schedule circadian rhythms	19 Times
Insomnia	16 Times
Restless Leg Syndrome	7 Times
Nightmares	7 Times
Sleep Walking	6 Times
Sleep Terrors	5 Times

In Part Two of this article on sleep issues and ADHD I am going to break the very accurate Swedish Statistics on the subject. In Part One I looked the figures for sleep disturbances as one group.

Now I will break the figures down into 8 different categories and how uncommon they are compared top non-ADHD people.

Here are the figures from the highest to the lowest.

The Swedish team that undertook this study concluded their work saying this:
“Our findings also suggest that greater clinical attention should be directed towards addressing sleep problems in individuals with ADHD. This entails implementing proactive measures through sleep education programmes and providing both pharmacological and non-pharmacological approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy and parental sleep training.”

Read more: ADHD And Sleep Problems Part Two